Most people involved in modern on-camera sex work do so primarily because it is a means to “get” sex, which has always been weird to me because it seems like it would be much easier to go to a bar or get on an app.  At the same time, adult film performers and adult content creators also tend to have something else going on for them that most people don’t:  they’re exhibitionists.  They like being seen, witnessed.  They like knowing that they turn other people on.  I suppose I’m that way too (although there are some other things that set me apart.  We’ll talk about that later.)  I had my very first full-blown threesome encounter when I was 21 years old, with my then-boyfriend and a guy we met online.  It was hot and enjoyable and even though I don’t think about it often, I remember it fondly when I do.

Even before that threesome, I had a penchant for being a “hoe”, and I use that term in a positive way because sex is good and wonderful and we should all be having the kind of sex we want as often as we want (although keep in mind, unless you have her explicit permission, don’t ever call a woman a “hoe”—I use the term for myself because I like doing so, not because I like other people doing so).  But shortly after that threesome, which was the sluttiest thing I’d ever done up until that point, I started leaning hard into meeting up with and fucking guys from bars and apps.  Eventually I met with the right people who introduced me to gangbangs, and on February 16, 2017, at the age of 23, I had my very first gangbang.  11 guys, one hotel room, and me with a lady friend who had been doing them for a while.

I enjoyed all the slutting and gangbangs I did in my 20s, and I still enjoy all of that now, at age 32.  But, I will tell you this, friends:  as slutty as I may be in my personal, private sex life (which my fans will never be a part of), I have a lot of opinions that set me apart from the rest of my adult film peers.  If I didn’t like sex and being a slut as much as I do, I probably wouldn’t be performing sexual acts on camera. That seems logical. However, my first controversial opinion is that all pornography that wishes to be deemed as professional—that is, as Adult Film—has to be performance sex.  In other words, if you are actually fucking on camera, that’s amateur sex.  Does not matter how much production input you have, or how expensive your equipment is, or how many lighting and sound crew you have.  Real sex on camera is amateur.

“But…what do you mean by ‘real sex’?”  A reasonable question, but here’s my answer:  if the sex you have in the privacy of your own bedroom, where there are no cameras, is identical to what you are doing on camera in terms of both sight and sound, that’s real sex.  Adult film sex is performance sex; it is about sounds and visuals, and it is not supposed to be the same visuals and sounds as when there are no cameras around.  You perform.  That’s the entire point, and ideally, you are performing at the behest of a director who is controlling everything from vocalizations to posture to hand positioning, pace and speed, and even when orgasms can happen, and how.  Can this all still be sex you enjoy?  Sure, and I imagine that for a great deal of adult film performers who are filming studio sex, it probably is, at least in part.  But if enjoyment is foremost in your mind, you aren’t performing, because enjoyment is not the point.  It also leads to making mistakes, and I can attest firsthand that there is a different level of quality that distinguishes between the studio mindset or motivation and mere amateur shooters.

“But don’t a lot of fans ‘hate that fake stuff’”?  Most certainly.  In fact, amateur pornographic material as a whole (considered by conventional standards and not by my opinion on the amateur versus studio distinction) sells better and is viewed by more people.  And, if studio shooting is about running a business, shouldn’t the studio strive to make the highest bottom line it can?  Shouldn’t it adapt to trends, sales charts, and numbers of views?  It depends.  Any business has an obligation to keep its doors open, and you certainly don’t “go into business” to lose money.  And yet, money isn’t everything.  Most people don’t become artists of any kind to become wealthy; the pleasure of creativity is an end unto itself. But the landscape today is top productions repeating the same thing over and over again.  Why?  Because it works for their bottom line, not because it is fulfilling anyone’s creative impulse, and even such productions have now moved toward offering “real” sex because studio production material doesn’t sell as well.  And so in my view, they are now amateur studios.

I know most people don’t care about these kinds of distinctions, and they probably find them trivial, and that’s fine, because they’re not doing my job. Ultimately, my view is that if sex isn’t “studio”, it’s amateur.  And any time a shoot isn’t crafted with a creative vision first and foremost in mind, which guides the acts you’re seeing in the final product, then the performers are not devoted to a performance.  How, then, can they be performers?  This is why I am skeptical of “amateur” shooters because my motivation is quality product, not “having a good time”.  I’ll save my good times for off-camera so I can focus on crafting and delivering an intended performance.  My “good times” are for the bars and apps.